Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Randomize
