this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize