It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize