I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
