he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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