I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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