I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
