We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
