Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
