just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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