This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
