Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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