dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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