it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
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She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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