I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
