he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
