Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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