then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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