I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!