In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia