On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.