I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.