Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Found the puke drawer
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.