Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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