Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.