Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah