dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
