Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
