she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it