come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
