Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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