i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years