when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?