I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
