so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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