just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
