I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
