Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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