I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Randomize