In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize