i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
