Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
