Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
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Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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