Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize