Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize