Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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