you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize