Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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