You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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