I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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