just come out here and I will go home with you...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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