Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize