She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
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My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
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It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.