I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!