he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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