Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize