Yo dont text me then not text me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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