there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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