she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.