meet me or not, i'm out of control
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I will pee on everything he values.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.